Many people think of a phoenix that’s rising from the ashes as a grown bird ablaze in all its glory.

Nope! That’s not how it works.

It is true the phoenix is a powerful metaphor for overcoming challenges and emerging stronger on the other side. However, one must remember what form the phoenix takes upon its rebirth. The adult is not rising from the flames; it’s burning until it becomes a pile of ashes, from which it will emerge fresh and new…….and vulnerable.

You have to admit that tattoos of baby birds wouldn’t be as powerful.

Why the chitchat about the mythical phoenix you might ask?

Well, five years ago I burst into flames and was reduced to a pile of ashes– a wobbly, incontinent, stuttering, constantly falling, cognitively-impaired pile of ashes that was one unsteady step away from a wheelchair.

Enter Doctor Mark Johnson of UMass Medical Center in Worcester, Massachusetts. He didn’t dismiss me as a neurotic old woman who needed to see a psychiatrist. (Yes, I’m talking about you Doctor Eugenia Blank and the eleven other doctors I saw who should have been able to diagnosis hydrocephalus since they were so-called ‘experts’. Sheesh.) Dr. Johnson diagnosed Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus and ordered surgery.

On April 10, 2024, Dr. Johnson installed an atrioventricular shunt in my head and, as they say, the rest is history. No more stuttering, no more wobbling or unsteady gait, no more cognitive impairment, no more peeing my pants (except when I sneeze but that’s a topic for another day).

I won’t say I emerged from the ashes ready to take flight. It took some time to develop my wings but today, one year later, I’m soaring like the chimney swift I hope to be.

So that’s my tale. One of determination in that I refused to believe ‘it’s all in your mind’; one of protection in that my son, sister, and friends were with me during those years of fighting the medical establishment’s perception of older women and their health; and one of bliss, as I fly to great heights.

Merci, Dr. Johnson.

Blessed be :}

Mi manchi, mia amata immortale.