Tears of Fear…Oh Dear

There are lots of types of tears. There are tears of sadness and grief, tears of regret. Anxiety tears are up there on the list with tears of fear and worry. And of course there are tears of joy. Do you think a person can shed tears of joy, fear, worry, and anxiety at the same time? Does the mingling of emotions alter the taste of the tears?

The simple answer is no, the taste is the same–salty.

Okay, here’s the deal, I decided to adopt a puppy. OMG!

I’ve been wanting to bring another dog into my home for about two years. A playmate for Harlee (Yeah, right, does he look like he wants a playmate?)

Harlee’s thoughts: ‘You have got to be kidding me! First the cats and now a puppy!’

Well, on Monday, August 22, a little after 5:00 PM, my newest family member came home.

Meet Bailey.

Bailey, being held by the breeder.

Bailey is a chocolate lab who loves playing in water. Yup, this old lady who lives on a river adopted a dog who loves water.

Bailey has been home six nights, I’ve cried myself to sleep on half of them.

Some of my tears were tears of joy because, let’s face it, puppies are bundles of furry joy. But my tears were also a mixture of fear that I’ll somehow screw up Bailey’s life and she’ll become a terror dog; tears of anxiety that I won’t train Bailey correctly and she’ll need therapy when she’s older, and tears of worry that I’m too old to take care of a puppy.

Wah, wah, wah.

The nights went something like this: Bailey is asleep in her crate and I smile and sniffle as I watch her dear little body peacefully nuzzling her stuffed puppy. (The very same puppy Harlee stole out of Bailey’s crate before she came home.)

After watching Bailey for a while I would turn my attention to puppy training videos on YouTube. After about 20 videos I would become convinced I wouldn’t be able to raise a reasonably sane dog and the floodgates would open.

Look at that face…

…now do you understand my fear? I want to give her the best possible life but I became convinced I would mess up.

Yes, I know Harlee is a well-behaved, happy dog but he was at least two when he came into my life. Puppies…well, as one video trainer stated: ‘Puppies can be irreparably damaged if they are not trained properly in the first three months of their lives.’


I only had one month to get the whole thing right?

Cue the tears.

I didn’t even own a puppy puzzle!


My rescue came in the form of my son, who reminded me that raising a puppy is both exciting and frightening but that I’m a smart woman who is capable of doing a great job.

My smart son and Bailey, August, 2022.

And my friends Bob, Jill, and Rachel, who gave me a puppy puzzle.


So from this point on I am swearing off dog training videos and going with my gut, and the trainer for the puppy class Bailey I and will be attending in September.

I feel much better. And you know, tears of joy taste the best.

Bailey, eight weeks old.

Blessed be :}

Mi manchi, mia amata immortale.

About tinthia

Wondering, searching, and wandering, I'm an earth witch with a desire to get it right in my lifetime. The flow of the river feeds my inner goddess and fuels my soul. Blessed be. :}
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4 Responses to Tears of Fear…Oh Dear

  1. Dianna Solari says:

    He is adorable don’t worry you will do fine with the training.

  2. tinthia says:

    Hi, thank you. 😊

  3. Cathy Neal says:

    Late comment ,he’s so cute.you got this lady ,your gonna be amazing

  4. tinthia says:

    Hi, thank you for your encouragement. I keep tripping and falling (metaphorically); the poor puppy is in for a rough ride but if Harlee managed I’m sure Bailey will too. ❤️

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